Saturday 21 January 2012

The South Croydon Incinerator Supposition.

Let's ignore the hypothetical basis for this scenario. How would it play out if the construction of an incinerator was being planned for the leafy wards of South Croydon? *dream sequence music*

Coulsdon: Well I suppose if it has to be built somewhere it might as well be somewhere central, like Kenley.

Kenley: Now hang on one cotton picking...

Sanderstead: Wait, that's downwind of us.

Kenley: Good shout, let's stick it in Purley.

Purley: I'll stick something in you in a minute. Ever heard of wind changing direction?

Kenley: Wont matter which direction it blows in if it's built here. Maybe we should look at building it in Sanderstead.

Sanderstead: Hope you have a good lawyer, 'cause there's going to be one hell of a lawsuit coming your way if you keep that up.

Kenley: What about that pointy bit down at the bottom of Coulsdon.

Couldson: What's with you and pointy bits? Look, all that extra traffic coming all the way down here will do no-one any good. It needs to be built somewhere.....else.

Purley: Actually, why does it need to be built ...anywhere?

Sanderstead: Got to burn stuff, right?

Purley:  All we need to do is to stop buying tat and chucking it away the next day.

Kenley: Speak for yourself, we do not buy tat. I do, however, like the cut of your jib.

Purley: Leave my jib out of it. There are 10 times the number of jobs in recycling than there are in incinceration.

Coulsdon: So we wouldn't need an incinerator at all if we put a bit a of thought into what we bought...

Kenley: ...and if we recycled every last thing that we could....

Purley: ...which will increase as the technology for recycling continues to improve...

Sanderstead: ...and if we put the responsibility of disposing of leftover materials back in the hands of those who make it...

Coulsdon: ...yeah, they'd soon get they're act together...

Kenley: ...and we wouldn't need an incinerator. Nice work people, nice work.



The Beddington Lane Incinerator Supposition.

Let's ignore the hypothetical basis for this scenario. How would it play out if the construction of an incinerator was being planned for the economically deprived area of Beddington Lane? *dream sequence music*

Beddington Lane: We wouldn't need an incinerator at all if we put a bit a of thought into what we bought and if we recycled every last thing that we could which will increase as the technology for recycling continues to improve and if we put the responsibility of disposing of leftover materials back in the hands of those who make it, they'd soon get they're act together and we wouldn't need an incinerator.

Everyone Else: Yeah, whatever *builds incinerator*





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